Cowboys and Vampires
TW: potential gun imagery, allusions to violence
At this point in the development of the game, I am most concerned with the story. Is it interesting, is the language engaging or distracting, is it believable, and how is the dialogue? I would also like to know what your thought process is about the choices available. Do you wish there were more options, are the choices predictable (if so is that okay, does it guide you), are you surprised by outcomes, do you second guess your decisions, etc.? I used to write poetry during late high school/early college years, and I stopped due to creative doubts. Writing for this game has been great practice both for my creative mind as well as trying to write a narrative versus singular poems. With that said, what do you think about the language of the writing? Is it a good mix of serious and playful?
Ideally I would like for the player to have the option of starting off as either the cowboy or the vampire, but for now I have multiple parts of the Cowboy storyline. I wanted to flesh out as much as I could with the time given so the game could be a good starting point for a demo. I would like to expand this World/story into something very fleshed out that keeps players interested in replaying the game and for the “character select” choice to be apparent during the second playthrough (choosing to be the Vampire when you’ve already played as the Cowboy) as though you the player are meeting yourself from a different timeline and seeing similar events unfold.
| Status | Prototype |
| Platforms | HTML5 |
| Author | Kyrohys |
| Genre | Interactive Fiction |
| Made with | Twine |
Comments
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The first thing I did was go to the bar because I was under the impression that these games were all about finding clues in the bar. I didn't back out when I chose to enter the bar because I didn't want to stop halfway. I didn't dare to choose too crazy an option in this game because the background setting was cowboys and it could have killed me, so I always followed the instructions strictly. I really like the ability to enter town names at the beginning, will this appear afterward?
Now for the game as a whole, I have a guess that the cowboy is the main character, the man in black is a vampire, and the man in gray and the old woman look like they are in cahoots (I think they are bad and wanna cheat on me!). I saw your description and it would be great if I could be a vampire too! It's kind of like the "New Game+” setting of some games. Looking forward to your story development!:D
The story is amazing! So many player choices. Some of the choices don't seem like they matters a lot, but that's the fun part added to the story. (Very engaging.) The first round I played it, I was surprised by the amount of choices(reactions) which are provided. I can see the game and the world is building in a very large scale. So the second round, I tried check how many endings will it possible lead to with so many choices. And I was again surprised that eventually they all lead to the same part (the grey man). Very thoughtful!
I think adding a little bit graphic or background would make the story even better, (or not) maybe just changing the fonts and colors of words. I think sound effect would work great with your game. No fancy graphic, but words and sounds. Would also be very interesting.
Your writing style is very engaging, I felt pulled through the story. I can feel the awkwardness & tension when I walk into the saloon with the too-fast door and the too-loud boots.
I agree with Tien that some of the blocks of text are hard to read - maybe it's also due to the black background and the white text. I know it's the Twine default, but it could be easier on the eyes to switch it so it's black on white, or something else that's a little softer for the large amounts of text.
I'm interested to know what you think about building an aesthetic for this game story, and if you think you'll continue working on it!
The number of choices is enough to hold some weight, but without feeling overwhelming. I keep wanting to go back and see what the different paths lead down (does it REALLY matter that I chose Sangria at the bar?), which makes this very re-play-able!
This was awesome! I think the mechanic of being able to add names is a really nice touch. The choices are pretty unpredictable, which is a fun surprise, but there are a few parts where it seems that the choice guides the player rather than the other way around (like asking for water at the bar, then being led out by the man in grey) not necessarily a bad thing, but maybe something to keep in mind if you're focusing on that. I was really interested in the storyline with the man in the huge hat, I think his reactions to the player's dialogue are fantastic. One minor and nitpicky suggestion would be to break up some of the longer bits of narrative into two sections so that the walls of text are a bit smaller. Super excited to see how that path goes if/when you decide to push it further! I think with what you have so far, the story is super engaging and playful, and much like the kinds of things I personally love to read. Really excited to see more if you choose to continue this project!
- Tien